I like to start each morning the same way – a hot cup of coffee sweetened with Italian cream sitting on the coaster atop the ebony end table at my right; my little tan and white cocker spaniel snuggled against my left side as we sit on the old brown leather couch in my living room. My feet are propped on the dark coffee table in front of me.
As I am of a certain age, bifocals are perched upon the bridge of my nose and in my hands, the latest daily devotional I’m reading. The candlestick lamp which shares the end table with my coffee is on the brightest of its three settings to shine against the darkness of 6 a.m. The house is silent, hushed, as my other family members are still asleep. It’s a quiet and cozy setting.
I use these peaceful times each morning to study my bible, pray and think about things I need to do for the day or week. I’ve found it helpful to write these little thoughts down on paper or otherwise, they flit away like a hummingbird – here one second and zip! Gone the next! In my younger years, I had excellent recall, almost like a photograph, of something I head, seen or heard. Trivial pursuit games were a favorite because of this aptitude.
Being of a certain age, however, I’m starting to forget things. A word here or there, a task I wanted to do, a name of someone I’ve recently met. It’s aggravating, a little upsetting (there’s always the fear that’s its more than old age). I don’t like forgetting… it means a loss of control; the inability to control myself, the things around me, even my own destiny.
Today’s bible study focused on Matthew 16:24 (CEV), ‘Then Jesus said to his disciples: If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross and follow me.’ Did you catch it? The command Christ gave to his followers? Somehow I had never read the words as I read them today. “You must forget about yourself.”
Here I am, feeling bad for myself for forgetting things, getting older and not accomplishing what I have planned – and now God is telling me I need to forget about myself… I need to forget my plans for my life because it is not my own. I need to forget about what I want – it’s about what God wants. It’s not about the marriage, the family, the job, the house or the retirement planning. It’s about how God wants to use my life for his glory. It’s his plans and my life in his hands. This is what I need to focus on – and never forget who I belong too and what I am here for…
C.R. Noble 